Everybody I know who has a dog usually calls him "Rover" or "Spot" or "Lucky". I called mine Sex. Now, Sex has been very embarrassing to me. When I went to the City Hall to renew the dog's license, I told the clerk that I would like a license for Sex. He said, "I would like to have one too!" Then I said, "But she is a dog!" He said he didn't care what she looked like. I said, "You don't understand... I have had Sex since I was nine years old." He replied, "You must have been quite a strong boy." When I decided to get married, I told the minister that I would like to have Sex at the wedding. He told me to wait until after the wedding was over. I said, "But Sex has played a big part in my life and my whole world revolves around Sex." He said he didn't want to hear about my personal life and would not marry us in his church. I told him everyone would enjoy having Sex at the wedding. The next day we were married at the Justice of the Peace. My family is barred from the church from then on.

When my wife and I went on our honeymoon, I took the dog with me. When we checked into the hotel, I told the clerk that I wanted a room for me and my wife and a special room for Sex. He said that every room in the hotel is a place for sex. I said, "You don't understand. ... Sex keeps me awake at night." The clerk said, "Me too!"

One day I entered Sex in a contest. But before the competition began, the dog ran away. Another contestant asked me why I was just looking around. I told him that I was going to have Sex in the contest. He said that I should have sold my own tickets. "You don't understand," I said, "I hoped to have Sex on TV." He called me a show off.

When my wife and I separated, we went to court to fight for custody of the dog. I said, "Your Honor, I had Sex before I was married but Sex left me after I was married." The Judge said, "Me too!"
Last night Sex ran off again. I spent hours looking all over for her. A cop came over and asked me what I was doing in the alley at 4 o'clock in the morning. I said, "I'm looking for Sex."

Well now I've been thrown in jail, been divorced and had more damn troubles with that dog than I ever had. Why just the other day when I went for my first session with the psychiatrist, she asked me, "What seems to be the trouble?" I replied, "Sex has been my best friend all my life but now it has left me for ever. I couldn't live any longer so lonely." and the doctor said, "Look mister, you should understand that sex isn't a man's best friend so get yourself a dog."

Sooo.. was minding my own business wasting time playing dota and waiting for some ppl to get back from afk.. bloody dormadon! Anyhow Grace sent me this ELITE youtube clip of an asian song.. and here it is!! Credits to Grace for showing me it.. now i need to search for the mp3 version and ill chuck it onto my iPod. hehe

American Boy Parody-"First Asian Boy"

Its been a big week in good and bad!

My mum had a car crash on Tuesday her commercial light truck with a bus on dynon road in footscray. Mum was driving straight and the bus driver was coming from the opposite direction and he made a bad/rushed right turn in which boom it happened. The truck hit the bus on its left front passenger door entry side. Consider that lucky as i was told she wasnt going that fast or she pushed the break pedals early.. or they wouldve colided head on with each other and the results wouldve been alot more devastating. Mum was inside the truck along with 2 others. Her sister from vietnam (my auntie) and a male workstaff. All 3 were sent to hospital by ambulance when i arrived at the scene. She was laying in ambulance with neck support on her. Thankfully they all didnt suffer any too serious injuries, mainly bruises or muscle spasm/bone pain. I'll take some photos and post sometime of what the truck now looks like to show how bad it was and how much worse it coudlve been if she had been driving any faster or didnt break early...

Kevin (Kips) from Sydney also came down this week, shame its a short stay as hes doign presentations for hes company. I think he works for IBM? forgotten.. seeing him soon actually for yumcha this morning in the city around 10am or 10.30am. Also today another friend (finchan aka dormadon) coming into Melbourne from Geelong for a job interview in which I'm catching up with later today probably about 2pm-3pm is when he finishes hes interview i think. Still contemplating if i should head down to club @ Fix tonight or not to catch up my party animal buddy Jayson and he's friends.

Sat night going to QBH!! Once off asian night there and will be heading there with friends i havent caught up in awhile! All my white boys and all =D. Got feeling gonna rock the night hard like we always do and have a blast! Dance and drinking always = WIN!! hahaha...

Gonna finish off with something kinda interesting i found online.. how much of this is true i leave it upto you guys/girls to decide.. the title is.. "Things a Guy DOESNT wish women knew"

• Not all of us like sports. We just pretend to to seem more manly.
• We secretly memorize everything you wear.
• Don't tell us to tell you if you look bad. Just... stop. We won't. Ever. Under no circumstances. 
• Likewise, we'll never tell you when you're wrong. Couches aren't comfortable, for this is our destination when we tell you you're wrong, especially that happy little time that comes about once a month.
• Not all guys are afraid of commitment.
• Likewise, not all guys want to take advantage of you so please, for the love of god, get over your "I hate men" bitching.
• There are things we don't want you to do. We'll never tell you.
• We really do think you're cute when you're tired.
• But you're never cute when you're mad at us. Never.
• Honestly, we really do think all girls are uglier than you. It's how our brains work. So quit asking.
• Don't ever come over and not want to cuddle or kiss.
• We secretly wish that you'd pick us over your friends, and when you don't we're secretly bummed.
• Muscle-y women are gross, disgusting, and all together vile. No cushion for the pushin'? Get out!
• Sometimes the only things that motivate us to even try at all in school are our wonderful girlfriends.
• We hate when you go on vacation without us and leave us all alone!
• Really, we hate when you do anything without us. (but we'll never tell!)
• We hate the roads conversations take when you girls utter the words "I'm fine, I guess."
• Oh, and we hate it when we can't cheer you up. Throw us a bone, for goodness sake!
• We say you don't need to dress up for us or wear makeup for us... but we sure would like you too!
• Never roll your eyes at us.
• We're not kidding when we say we'll trash any guy that looks at you.
  
• And if any guy puts his arm around you that's not my clone or me in a mirror, his head will emblazon the pike in my front yard.
• Whisper in our ear!
• Come behind US and hug us. It doesn't always have to be us that does that to you!
• Tell us when we smell, please. We can't tell and our guy friends don't realize it.
• However, we'll never tell you if you smell. See above.
• But please don't smell, we have this concept in our mind that girls are supposed to smell like flowers and sunshine.
  
• Don't shatter our concepts!
• When your boyfriend is a nerd, the least you can do is pretend to listen to him when he attempts to tell a funny story about his guild in World of Warcraft, or attempts to explain the physics of a tachyon.
• Oh, and nerds really are better lovers.
  
• Plus, we'll make a lot of money when we're older, and chances are your football player boyfriend is gonna be bagging my groceries.

Peace out~ Kyo.